Ready or not!

Sometimes life comes and goes by very easily, Other times it's a little more difficult.  Well since 2007 my life has had so many amazing things in it!  For starters my wonderful son Ashton!  Regardless of his Autism he is still my little man and I wouldn't trade him for the world! But the last almost 4 years have not been easy by any means.  I have dealt with a roller coaster of emotions with my family and friends!  It's so hard to get out of bed sometimes because I have a constant reminder of what's coming when I do!  Ashton is one of the 3 loves of my life! My little man since the day he was born, but dealing with him on a daily basis is so frustrating sometimes.  He gets so angry so easily and usually over something really strange!  For example: When we go to the grocery store and walk up to the automatic door, well if someone steps in and opens it before he does then it's like all hell has broken loose!  It doesn't do any good to try to calm him because he simply refuses to let it go!  He is very stubborn and he will not back down!  So traveling isn't always the easiest thing for us.  He doesn't like to sit for more than a few minutes and if he is not entertained every second of a trip then in comes the screaming!! I have been seriously thinking about either starting or joining an Autism support group.  Because not everybody knows or understands what it's like and it would be nice to be around people who don't look at you like your crazy for allowing your child to scream in public.  It's so hard to be a mom of an Autistic child.  But it also has such wonderful rewards.  The light that glows in his eyes when he gets excited over something as simple as a door opening and closing.  Looking at a flashlight glow on the walls, opening gifts or seeing pretty pictures.  There are so many amazing and exciting different things to learn and watching my son learn them in his own unique way just feels my heart with joy and love.  I have of course lost my temper a few times with him, and I always feel horrible when I do but it's a hard job, and the hours are long and hard.  I worry sometimes if Ashton will get worse as he gets older.  The child psychologist says that he believes Ashton's case will improve as he gets older but there is always that chance where he can get worse and have full blown Autism instead of the partial Autism that he has now..  But ready or not it will come and I will cross that bridge when I get to it!  I write this blog to try and help anyone who might have problems or concerns for their own children.  Questions and comments are always welcome.  I appreciate you all letting us into your lives and I hope that one day I will really be able to help the Autistic community.